What makes a relationship tick and tank? What makes a bond float or sink? When should you bottle up feelings? When should you put an indelible dead end? Here's an article worth pondering...1. Spending time apart strengthens your bond.
2. Your inkling that something is wrong in the relationship is probably right. By nature of being a woman, you have a keen intuition, so you'll feel any kind of distancing on a visceral level pretty quickly.
"When a guy wants to break up, he'll often start to create space," says Oikle. In other words, he'll stop calling quite as much, it will take him a bit longer to return your texts or emails, and he'll sometimes be "too busy" to hang out. "For the record, if a guy is into you, he'll never be too busy," says Paul Coleman, PsyD, author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Intimacy."
3. If a man has a history of cheating on his girlfriends, he'll probably cheat on you too. Sometimes a guy cheats on his partner because there is an emotional or physical void in the relationship. But more often than not, philandering is indicative of something wrong with him. According to Jay Carter, PsyD, author of "Nasty Men,"
4. He wants to think he's taking care of you. Despite the fact that many women are outpacing men on the college level and in the workplace, "lots of guys still derive their feelings of masculinity and self-worth by being of value to the person they love," says Allen Berger, PhD, author of "Love Secrets Revealed." "And they feel most valuable when they're doing things for that person."
5. If a guy tells you that he's not ready for a relationship, take his word for it. Believe it or not, men really hate to disappoint women. So if he's "gotten up the guts to actually cross the threshold and tell you that he's not ready for a relationship, he means business," says Oikle.
6. Passion can grow as a relationship progresses. People used to think settling down meant saying goodbye to romance and passion. But research has found that young married couples are more satisfied in the romance department than their single counterparts are. Familiarity definitely has its perks.
7. You won't regret breaking up with a guy you're feeling unsure about. Nowadays, women may be impulsive about dating guys but not dumping them. "In fact, a lot of single women will try really hard to fit a square peg into a round hole because they want the relationship to work so bad," explains Magids. "It's only after a tremendous amount of thought and effort that they finally give up on it." So if you sense you're with the wrong person, don't fret so much about walking away to find a better mate.
8. You will always be the one to initiate a relationship talk. Unlike women, who are conditioned to take the pulse of a relationship from time to time, men don't contemplate the state of your union until something's wrong. And even then, they want to work it out in their mind, whereas women want to talk it out.
2. Your inkling that something is wrong in the relationship is probably right. By nature of being a woman, you have a keen intuition, so you'll feel any kind of distancing on a visceral level pretty quickly.
"When a guy wants to break up, he'll often start to create space," says Oikle. In other words, he'll stop calling quite as much, it will take him a bit longer to return your texts or emails, and he'll sometimes be "too busy" to hang out. "For the record, if a guy is into you, he'll never be too busy," says Paul Coleman, PsyD, author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Intimacy."
3. If a man has a history of cheating on his girlfriends, he'll probably cheat on you too. Sometimes a guy cheats on his partner because there is an emotional or physical void in the relationship. But more often than not, philandering is indicative of something wrong with him. According to Jay Carter, PsyD, author of "Nasty Men,"
4. He wants to think he's taking care of you. Despite the fact that many women are outpacing men on the college level and in the workplace, "lots of guys still derive their feelings of masculinity and self-worth by being of value to the person they love," says Allen Berger, PhD, author of "Love Secrets Revealed." "And they feel most valuable when they're doing things for that person."
5. If a guy tells you that he's not ready for a relationship, take his word for it. Believe it or not, men really hate to disappoint women. So if he's "gotten up the guts to actually cross the threshold and tell you that he's not ready for a relationship, he means business," says Oikle.6. Passion can grow as a relationship progresses. People used to think settling down meant saying goodbye to romance and passion. But research has found that young married couples are more satisfied in the romance department than their single counterparts are. Familiarity definitely has its perks.
7. You won't regret breaking up with a guy you're feeling unsure about. Nowadays, women may be impulsive about dating guys but not dumping them. "In fact, a lot of single women will try really hard to fit a square peg into a round hole because they want the relationship to work so bad," explains Magids. "It's only after a tremendous amount of thought and effort that they finally give up on it." So if you sense you're with the wrong person, don't fret so much about walking away to find a better mate.
8. You will always be the one to initiate a relationship talk. Unlike women, who are conditioned to take the pulse of a relationship from time to time, men don't contemplate the state of your union until something's wrong. And even then, they want to work it out in their mind, whereas women want to talk it out.
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